I Think I’ll Be Brave

“I think I'll be brave
Starting with you
But I'll fall away if you tell me to
I'd rather be wrong
Then hope that I'm right”

- Tawgs Salter, Brave

It has been yet another busy week. Busy, but good. Just last week I was saying that I was confident that a change would come. Already I’m feeling considerably more positive about life in general, and now I’m starting to think that change might already be here.

I had another good weekend, which makes it two for two now. That has been a very rare occurrence over the past few months. I got to spend some more time with my new friend. I was really excited about the prospect of making a new friend – and one who actually lives close enough to hang out with. I just felt like we clicked instantly, and that doesn’t happen every day – at least not for me.

What started off as just a friendship, has quickly turned into attraction for me. I really like him – a lot. He’s a really awesome guy. Intelligent, mature and funny. Handsome too on top of that. I’ve been finding that the more time I spend with him, the more I want to be around him. I find myself thinking about him throughout the day, and I just want to get to know him even better.

I’ve read his blog, and I know there are certain things he’s looking for in a relationship. To be honest, it doesn’t differ all that much from what I want. I have no idea whether he is (or could even be) remotely interested in me in that way, but I would like to pursue a relationship with him. I think I could be really good to him and give him what he deserves – and I think he could be really good for me too.

As we all know though, I’m no stranger to a bruised ego. I don’t want to set my expectations too high. But at the same time I realise that I have to start putting myself out there – regardless of the obstacles and disappointments I might face along the way. I need to be brave, and start taking responsibility for my own happiness. I owe that to myself.

I’m hoping to take him on a proper date this weekend. Should I tell him how I feel? Should I rather say nothing and just see how it goes? These thoughts keep going around and around in my head, and I know there’s a part of myself that’ll try to talk me out of it before Sunday.

But what if there’s a possibility that he’s feeling something too? Shouldn’t I show my true feelings before his interest fades? The window of opportunity is usually only that big. And we are rarely afforded second chances in life. Even if the feeling’s not mutual, I have made a great new friend at the very least. One that I hope will be around for a lifetime, and not just a season.

Let’s face it – I have no idea where this could go. But it’s time to starting being brave. And I think I’ll start with him.