Mr One-Four-Five

"Deep in my heart I'm concealing. Things that I'm longing to say. Scared to confess what I'm feeling. Frightened you'll slip away."

- Madonna, You Must Love Me

Well, saying that the past week has been a busy one would be nothing short of an understatement. With it also came its share of worries and disappointments. And yet through it all I didn't find myself too discouraged. Because you see, there's been something - or rather, someone - that has helped keep me going.

Over the past 10 days I have been chatting to a really great guy almost daily. It's extremely rare for me to feel a soulful connection with somebody right off the back. But this has been the case for me with Mr One-Four-Five. And even though it's only been 10 days, I feel like I've had some really deep conversations with him already.

I've now spent quite a bit of time reading his blog and browsing his Facebook profile, just looking at pictures and reading notes. I have to say that he is one of the kindest, most genuine guys I have ever come across. The only problem is, he lives in a completely different province.

Now if you read my last blog entry, you will already know that I don't think that distance necessarily always has to be a determining factor in life. With every passing year I become increasingly aware just how short and precious life is. After everything that has transpired the past couple of months, I know now more than ever that I don't want to live a life of regrets. And at the end of the day I'd rather regret something I did, than regret something I didn't do.

So this is an open letter to you, Mr One-Four-Five. I don't know if you'll get to read this, but at least part of me hopes that you will. I know we have yet to meet in person, but I want you to know that our conversations have been the highlight of any given day. You have kind eyes and a bright smile. You are funny, caring and considerate. I can tell that you have a big heart and a beautiful soul. And in you I see the qualities that I admire and that I'm hoping to find in a partner. I find myself thinking about you numerous times throughout the day - hoping that you're OK and that you're having a good day. I can't wait to talk to you at the end of a long day, and just get to know you even better. It should therefore come as no surprise that I am falling for you. I can only hope that you don't think I'm crazy, that this doesn't scare you off completely and that perhaps you feel some kind of a connection too.

If this was a John Hughes movies, I'd be standing outside your bedroom window with a boombox on my shoulder. Or I'd be on a float in a parade doing some silly musical number. But this is real life. Though I've never been a gambling man, I am going out on a limb here. I know that I am a man of simple means.  And that the only thing that I have to offer is love and devotion. But what I have to offer is for forever and a day.

I'm just a boy, standing here with his heart in hand. A boy that is ready to take a leap of faith - hoping that what he has to give will be enough at the end of the day. And that 145 might turn out to be his lucky number too.